False Alarm

Friday night Dayne and I headed to the hospital, after a couple hours of having regular contractions. After doing a urine sample and getting hooked up to monitors, the contractions were steady at between 1 1/2 to 5 minutes apart. When the nurse checked, I was dilated to a 3+, which was 1 cm more than Tuesday at my dr.'s appointment. YAY!

Then the urine test came back. The nurse said, "Oh my gosh! Your keytones are at a 4+!" I said, "What does that mean?" She says, "You are VERY dehydrated. There's no scale to test higher than 4+ keytones, and we see that after someone vomits all day long." I say, "Ok, so... I feel fine, though, what's the big deal?" I can tell she wants to laugh at my naivety, but she just says, "Well, dehydration causes false labor. Given your history of fast labors though, I don't think this is false labor, but you HAVE to start drinking water, and we HAVE to get an IV in you now." So I start chugging water, and she goes to get an IV bag. She asks why I haven't had any fluids lately (I told her I haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 1:30 that afternoon, and here it is 11 at night). I tell her I was too busy painting to eat or drink. She rolls her eyes at me and laughs.

So she goes to put the needle in for the IV, and she's taking a long time, slapping and rubbing my arm. I finally ask what's wrong. She says, "You are SO dehydrated I can't find a vein plump enough!" She finally tries a vein just above my wrist, but as soon as the needle goes in, the vein collapses and "runs away". After the water I drink gets into my system somewhat, she finally gets a vein in my hand and pumps 2 IVs into me.

Around 2 am, with contractions still going strong and steady, I still have NO progress with dilating, so she gets the ok from the doc to give me morphine and phenergan, a mixture that will either stop the false labor, or help me relax so I can dilate. At 4 am, my contractions have all but stopped, and I get the go-ahead to go home.

I can honestly say I'm relieved that I didn't have the baby on my nephew's birthday, but bummed that I went through all that for nothing. I know one thing for sure now... I'll be sure I have a mug of water on me at all times, and never get dehydrated like that again!

That leaves me at home, big and round, slapping my belly and saying, "Any day now, you little lazy imp!"